Members of ASS BLOWN OFF: Bobby "Koch'n in the honey bucket" Assblownoff (lead singer, driver of the winnabago), Andy "Thorson'n all over your shoes" Assblownoff (lead guitars), Adam "Bayliss'n on myself" Assblownoff (bass guitar), and Davey "consider that Albers dead" Assblownoff (drums)

Bios: These are the short, official bios of the ass blown off members

Adam: Adam Assblownoff was found in a swamp in a south Louisiana bayou as a small child in 1977. Authorities assumed he had been left for dead and was being raised by alligators and a few local dogs for several years due to his insessant hissing and inability to communicate with humans. Upon being discovered, he was shipped to Barstow by the miltary for extensive testing for possible usefulness of his ability to communicate with animals. When the military deemed him useless as a super soldier, but never-the-less still a dangerious psycopath with the strange ability to spin liquid sodium at huge speeds with his mind, the military gave him a pile of money and transplanted him to the land of the cazzzzys, Montana. Little is know of Adam's formative years, but we all know they were spent in Mazula. After an apparent escape from his military enforced Montana residence, he surfaced in Madison, Wisconsin. Rumor has it that Wisconsin recieved a huge windfall from Montana around the time Adam dissappeared. Having left the miltary's umbrella upon leaving Montana, Adam needed work. On a lonely night in the old O-kayz coral, he stumbled upon the members of ASS BLOWN OFF discussing the need for a new bassist. Having remembered how the dogs used to blow the jug to him as a small child, he auditioned on the spot, becoming the 123rd bassist of ABO.

Bobby: Bobby Assblownoff was born in Kuala Lumpur in 1947. After his parents were forced to flee the country due to an attack on the banana growing industry, young Bzklp, as he was known at the time, was left to fend for himself on the mean streets of Azerbaijan. Several years as a high-priced prostitute to the royal daughters of King Jimmy-John left him hopeless, his health in ruins, by age 16. After an attempt to become a drug pusher proved nearly disastrous, a move to Gary, Indiana, was the key element in turning Bzklp's life around. After a name change, and learning that if you yell really loud, people sometimes pay attention, he formed Ass Blown Off in 1973. The years have not always been kind to the band, as it has gone through 317 members since the original 10-piece horn-rock incarnation almost 30 years ago. But between occasional fights with other bands (Savoy Brown, ABBA, Musical Youth), much publicized romances (Kathleen Turner, Alicia Witt, and three secret marriages to Karen Black) and the on-again, off-again addiction to horse tranquilzers, he has been a survivor. (courtesy of Viacom, Inc./VH1 Behind the Music)

Andy: origin: deepest africa... species: human or machine?

Davey: raised by monkeys